Sunday, May 11, 2008

Been a while

The Austin Gang pictured with Des. (Note the snazzy T-shirt so many are sporting!)

So I haven't written in a long time. One reason is because while Des was here there was just not time. We had an excellent visit. I loved the workshop, I loved hanging out with her again- it has been several years since she and I really spent a lot of time together and I loved just being with the folks in the Austin Kula (and the extended Kula that came to the workshop). The weather was great, the venue worked great (other than the parking) and the yoga was fantastic. I have some pictures but they are not on this computer.

I got a lot personally out of watching Desiree teach again. Certain things about her teaching style I had forgotten about and other things she has developed and honed since I have studied with her years ago. One thing I love (and that I had forgotten about) is that she is uncompromising about how hard it is to change, and that so often the nature of change is messy and full of grunting and groaning and so on. I tend to hide that aspect of things from students and fool myself into thinking I can spare people from the work that is required. I loved that she did not candy coat that part of things.

Also Des asked me on our way to Denver what I thought my teaching message was. It was really great to consider this more consciously. A lot of what I focus on is representing the Anusara Yoga method skillfully but it was great to consider a deeper level of why that is important to me. And most of what that comes down to the more I have thought about it is that this method and the practices I do like asana, meditation, pranayama, japa, study, dietary choices, etc. are just the most exquisite ways to bring self-love to life. Really that is the thing to me- this life is one that is so ultimately self-honoring and yield a life that is the one I want to live.

So in an early paragraph I mentioned that I have pictures from the weekend but on a different computer, which leads me to another reason why I have not written in a while. On Saturday night after the workshop I dropped my laptop and the screen cracked. So I did not take a computer with me to Denver where I have been the last week. That meant I got quite behind on my email and certainly behind on this blog.

The Gathering was really great. Paul Muller Ortega- one of the most intense men I have met in a while- taught over 4 hours of each day on the Shiva Sutras. They were Very High Teachings, much of which went right over my head! But one thing I do trust in such circumstances is that even if the intellectual is going over my head, other aspects can be going straight into my heart still the same. That is how I felt about it. After a certain point I just knew that I could trust a transmission that was going on and I didn't have to worry about the linear teaching, etc. Anyway, he is going to be teaching at Estes Park Grand Gathering so do not miss that.

The Gathering was busy for me- We had 6-7 hours of classes every day and then I had a ton of committee meetings- Ethics, Certification Assessment, Teacher Training Curriculum, a sub-committee meeting, a meeting with one of my mentees and so it was a super busy time. All of it I enjoyed and having the opportunity to serve on those committees is fantastic because you work not just with John but with some very bright lights in the Anusara Yoga community so it is a great chance to learn and to grow.

There is more to say about all of that but it is time to get some things done before the Immersion today. Have a good one.


mandy said...

Christina, it's funny how we view ourselves as teachers and how students may see us in a differant light. Your teaching for me has always encouraged hard work and a non-negotiable courses of action (meaning do this and it will be great so to me it's like why wouldn't I do that if it's going to be great....non-negotiable you see) are lovingly offered from your instruction. I think that you certainly offer an opportunity to work hard and although you may not insist that we do work hard it's almost hard not to through your inspiring teachings.

Christina Sell said...

Thanks, Mandy.

NeoMystic said...

YES! And showing us, in living breathing color, that unconditional love takes great commitment, discipline, and work. It's fairly easy to see the fruits of the labor on the outside, but nobody gets to see the deeper rewards on the inside. And nobody can be taught what those rewards are, they can only know it by experiencing it themselves. The spiritual work is so frickin' hard! It really is walking the razor's edge. So many times I've had the choice to either cheat myself or honor myself. I pray to more often choose self-honoring over self-delusion.

Thanks for bringing Des here. It was so wonderful to be back in your company, all of you.

Leanne said...

I am so very sorry about your laptop! I just invested my tax return into one of my own and I am so attached to it already that I can imagine it feels very strange to you without one.

I would have to agree with Mandy in the non-negotiable area- I looked at it as being called upon to really challenge your preconceptions of yourself.
"My arms AREN'T straight?"
"No - they are not"
("I am trying...dosen't she know I have tight shoulders...why is she picking on me....I am so frustrated I want to cry")
"You can do this Leanne"
(I can't...I am trying so hard but I can't..")
"Come on- I know it's tough but your strong you can do this"
("She really thinks I can do this- she thinks I am strong- maybe I am ..maybe I can push myself harder)
"Better- much better."
Do you remember how many down dogs and urdva hastasanas we had this conversation in?
Because YOU were uncompromising I now have straight arms. I think you are a lot more like Des than maybe you think...