Saturday, September 25, 2010

Saturday Night

Well, it has been a long, full and very rich day. In a lot of ways, I suppose yesterday and the day before was that way also. I got into Tucson on Thursday in time to go grocery shopping, get some dinner cooked and then I got a massage which was awesome. After that I unpacked, moved my things in, read my email and then went to bed.

Friday we started Teacher Training which is awesome. I was on a bit of a high from the Grand Gathering- (a bit of an understatement as I left the Gathering completely inspired by this amazing community of people and our teacher and his vision and our collective offering and completely on fire and exhilarated from the whole thing. I reconnected with old friends, made new friends and I might just have to say that the whole experience was perhaps the highlight of my teaching career.)

And in some ways, the Teacher Training is as different as you can get in terms of content, set and setting and yet in other ways, I feel so in the "Anusara Yoga Field of Consciousness" that it is not different at all. We have an amazing group of trainees- most of whom have been through the Immersion Process with us already so its a bit of a reunion and, of course, we have some new folks joining us which is also fun.

Without going into a blow by blow account of the first two days I suppose I will just share my overall impression after two days. Generally speaking, what is happening feels to me like a deep, profound emotional healing with very little/no drama or BS associated with what is going on for people. People are just sincerely owning their experiences, examining themselves with honest courage and being vulnerable and sincere with one another along the way. It is quite inspiring to be part of.

So what I have been reflecting on these last two days is the profound opportunity these trainings offer all of us in our personal growth and maturation. I mean, somehow, in the process of honing our articulation skills and presenting heart-based themes based on our direct, actual experience and endeavoring to deepen ourselves as teachers, the process asks us to confront long-held limiting beliefs, to assert a new truth about who we are and gives a chance to work through those things that stand in our way of our being direct, vulnerable and powerful people. It is nothing short of amazing, really.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately- this process of growing up that occurs as we walk the yoga path. I guess it doesn't actually "just occur." More accurately, we get invited to grow up and to be adults on a spiritual path and to let go of childish projections and coping strategies that we adopted in a different time and place. Obviously, it's a process and not everyone accepts the invitation but when we claim our experience directly, when we understand what is shaping our perceptions and when we stop projecting our feelings outwards onto others, something really radical happens inside-- we gain the liberation and freedom that is only possible when we are living as accountable adults and not as victimized children occupying adult bodies.

So- I am watching some very mature inner work occur in the folks who are taking this training. It's pretty radical for Day 2 that people would be so open, but it seems to me that people in this group came here to really shift and grow and are going for it. I know that I always shift a lot in my time here because as much as my job and Darren's job is to create space and to hold space for people, we are also in the chamber with everyone else. So as always, when I teach, I have had a chance to work with some of my own patterns and tendencies and to examine myself to make some conscious choices toward more skillful responses rather than patterned reactions.

And you know, its not always gut-wrenching inner searching that shifts us here. A lot of what helps us shift is the positive input and the amazing depth of support we can access when we come together as a community with a common aim. So often shifts can happen because the kula is reflecting our light to us and somehow we get to see ourselves as others see us and that positive darshana gets that much deeper into our hearts. It's a very cool thing.

So anyway- time for me to head to bed so I am fresh and ready for the day tomorrow.

1 comment:

Meg said...

I too am feeling deeply inspired. I love your acknowledgement that it is sometimes our own light being reflected back by the community that will cause the shift to occur. I am really getting that right now. And I wanted to say, before we get too far from the Grand Gathering, that you have never been more on fire and powerful in your teaching! It is really beautiful to see Christina. It is funny, because in so many ways your teaching is exactly the same as it was 10 years ago, just with everything that did not work gone and everything that does distilled down to its most potent essence. It has been such an honor to watch this evolution and to also be a beneficiary of the depth of your teaching. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on that this last week. To some extent like " wow, it is so great that EVERYONE is finally experiencing what a phenomenal teacher Christina" and on the other hand "what took everyone so long?" Ha! All in good time, looks like! Love you so much. Thank you for sharing your gifts!!!