Tuesday Morning

Well, let's see what to write about today. One thing I am pondering lately is the learning process. In part this inquiry got stirred up because I got an email from a student in Los Angeles signing up from my online mentor group. She was excited about the opportunity to learn more and to go deeper into her studies and then at the end of our exchange she posed an interesting question. She asked me if one ever stops chasing after knowledge. If one ever just settles into what they know and feels confident and satisfied with that.

So I have been thinking about it and of course, like everything I think about for a while, it seems to me there are many sides to the consideration and a whole lot of yes and no and it depends involved. Also her heart felt question had me reflecting on my own journey in Anusara Yoga. In the beginning of learning this method I think the learning curve is very steep. It is fast and furious and every workshop and every class yields some great ah-hah, some great insight or some new way of working more effectively. My experience is that after a while that rate of learning slows a bit- we start to grasp the philosophical precepts, we start to understand and feel the UPA's and we glimpse the logic of our sequencing strategies and so forth. So, while we still (hopefully) have ah-hah moments and so forth, the reality is what we have in front of us to do at that point is practice. We are charges with the task of bringing to life what we know, day after day, class after class, practice after class. This can actually be boring to some and even frustrating at time when the answer, for instance, is NOT something new but is the continual task of actually getting our thighbones back!

So in this way, I do think the chase ends. Or at least it slows down. So yes, we eventually stop chasing.

And yet, my experience has also been that I am always learning and I have ceased to be bored with the acquisition of knowledge. I find the process of learning to be one of the best things in life. And, I am happiest as a student of a great teacher. And while every situation can teach us and we can learn from everybody and all of that, in truth, that perspective is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the sheer delight in my Heart of Hearts, the rightness I feel inside when I am sitting at the feet of someone who is truly great, someone who is a master at what they do. I love nothing more, than being around someone who knows so much more than I do that I am happy to just hang out in case their cup runneth over in my direction and I can drink just a little bit from their wellspring. I have to say, in those times, I am in my deepest flow. Nothing beats it for me. Not teaching, not practicing, not reading about it, no movie, no hot-fudge sundae, no fine wine. Nothing compares. So in this way, no, it never ends. Why would I want it to?

Also as I have chewed on this question a lot I also though about the context of what it means to chase after knowledge. And I think a relevant aspect to explore is what is motivating the chase. Is there some seed of emptiness in our psychology that consciously or unconsciously believes that "more knowledge" will fill us u? Like are we in the grip of anava mala with feelings of lack and self-hatred and think that if just "knew more" then we would prove ourselves worthy? Or is the chase motivated by a burning zeal to expand out Light inside and to serve from a deeper place of wisdom?

There are variations on the theme of those questions for sure but the real thing to ask ourselves is: are we chasing knowledge from emptiness trying to get full or are we chasing knowledge from fullness in attempt to glorify and expand what is already great within us? There is no right answer to the question but the truth of that answer determines the answer to our opening question, right? And there are shades of gray here also.

If we are chasing knowledge from emptiness then we have to know that the cure for that kind of emptiness is never "knowing more stuff." But how do we learn that? Many times we pursue the outside answers long enough to realize they don't fill the emptiness. Then we look inside. Depending on our type, temperament and so forth we might never actually get off the outside search and actually get to the real inner work of sorting through the true reasons why we feel unworthy, separate or alone inside. It is hard work to do- it is much easier to think organic food, acupuncture, drugs, a better diet, the perfect herbal supplement, a different asana method, a new partner, a better job, a fancier car, cuter clothes, bigger boobs, thinner thighs, some advanced posture, fame, fortune, babies, etc. will do it this time. Seriously, all the different approaches out there to "fix it" can and do consume a lifetime.

I am not of the belief that "everyone is eventually going to turn inward and find themselves." Not by a long shot do I believe that. I think it is rare that anyone would engage the painstaking process of really getting to know themselves and rooting this stuff out. And I think those of us in the process should remember that it is a rare thing to do in this life and no matter how ugly it gets in the inner world at times, no matter how scary and dark it may feel as one approaches the inner regions of their shame-based beliefs, there is Dignity in the work, there is Necessity and there is intrinsic value.

So, if the outer journey fails us and we turn inward and we find, even glimpses, of our Great Light inside, then I think that the process heals us. The sense of emptiness is alleviated. And I think, in that way, the chase ends. When the chase from emptiness ends, well, we can, from our Fullness, listen to ourselves to hear how best to continue to walk the path. I know for me, the desire to learn and grow has not ceased. And its lands pretty squarely in the world of yoga for me. And I am happy to chasing it, in a sense. (Although I wouldn't actually use that word.)

But seriously, I know a lot of people who were chasing the yoga path and what they realized, as yoga helped them listen to themselves, was that yoga wasn't actually "it" for them. Parenting was. Environmental Action was. Writing was. Dancing was. Gardening was. Asana fell to the wayside for a meditation practice. And so on. And so the chase from fullness didn't take them in the same direction, it led them down different roads and into other experiences of learning and growing. I am not of the belief that everyone should do yoga and everyone should teach yoga or anything like that, for instance.

So there are many more facets to the question and to the answers but that's what's on my mind at the moment. I know in my case that I am an experiential learner. I tend to plow directly into experiences, totally go for them, spend a ton of money on them and sort all the other stuff out as I go along. It is not always a pretty path but generally when I am done with something I am done. I knew it. I learned it from the inside out. And if I stick with something, same thing. I am not casual about it. I believe we have to take things to their natural conclusions in order to complete the experience. I do know, however, that as I have grown older and wiser the natural conclusion is often less extreme than it was in my youth. I seem to complete things without as many dire consequences!

But you know, come to think of it, I have yet to find the conclusion of this particular path called yoga so I am still very interested in it and happily chasing after great teachers and great teachings. And as far as throwing all our money at our yoga studies, well, there are worse things that that, if you ask me! Its pretty much where all my money goes. (And to Lululemon clothes.)

So speaking of more ways to spend your money and more knowledge and experiences to chase after, I got a note in my email yesterday from Rachel at Yoga Oasis telling me that there is still some room in the upcoming Teacher Training that Darren and I are offering. This is Part One of a 3-part training program and even if you have done Level 1 Teacher Training before, I think that this program will be full of fresh perspectives, new approaches and effective techniques to grow and expand as a teacher. If you want some information about it, please email me directly at christinasell108@gmail.com or call Rachel at Yoga Oasis at 520.322.6142.

Have a great day.

Lessons on the River

Well, I woke up pretty tired and sore today. Kelly and I went back down to San Marcos yesterday to play in the water in our kayaks and two days in a row, coupled with a strong Fourth of July Practice and my body is feeling it! Its all in a good way- no tweaks, strains or anything, just good old fashioned lactic acid and stiffness. Nothing a little yoga can't or won't help here in a few minutes.

I have had a busy weekend but I have actually managed to get two mornings of play time at the river, a lot of time on my mat and I got through a long list of to-do's so I am pretty psyched. I love being in my kayak on the river. It is the one thing I do in my life that really is just for fun. I will never teach other people kayaking, there is no where to get, no evaluations to receive, no fees charged and no opinions to debate. It is pure fun. Better yet, it's even called play boating which is a fun reminder.

And yet, even as a "fun thing" its also a constant reminder of the principles I live by. The cool thing about rivers is that they are a moving medium in which to play and explore. The level of the water is always changing, the speed of the current is always changing and so every day is really different. What "worked" yesterday to get a spin in the hole is not necessarily going to work today. So one has to be responsive, not habitual to kayak well.

I think that has some yoga lessons for us to ponder. I mean, really, our body/mind/spirit complex is also a bit of a moving river. We are always changing and growing and getting stuck and then unstuck. All kinds of things affect what is going to be possible on our mats on any given day- we may have had dietary lapses, indulgent evenings, emotional upheavals, stresses and strains physically and mentally and so forth. All of these factors and more work on us and create a different scenario we have to deal with when we step on our mat to "play". What worked yesterday to open us up for a certain pose, may not be what works today. The inner waters may have shifted too much to go after something in the same way as yesterday. So there is that.

The other thing about kayaking is that the boat works best in the water when it is travelling at the same speed as the water. In fact, we are most likely to get flipped over when our boat moves slower than the speed of the water. Now this seems pretty obvious when I say it like that. But when we are in a rapid that is moving very fast and we are getting a little freaked out, the tendency, when we are new to the sport, is to try to slow down, get a grip and think rationally. And additionally, what happens then is that our whole body goes into stiff-lock-down. But actually, the opposite approach is called for. We have to paddle faster, trust the speed and stay loose in the cock pit of the boat to allow our boat to move fluidly, like part of the water itself.

Obviously there are yoga and life lessons in that also. There is a speed of life- sometimes it is fast and we want it to slow down and some time that speed is slow and we want it to speed up.(And obviously sometimes that is appropriate and we can make a case for that another day.) For the purpose of this metaphor, the point I want to make is that there is a task of learning to respond to the speed of the river as it is, not trying dictating the speed of life according of our preference, ideals or preconceived notions about how things should be.

For instance, I have a friend in the spiritual community of which I am a part and he was feeling depressed. And in his depression he kept cutting things out of his life and taking responsibilities off his plate. And he grew more and more depressed. Finally he went to our teacher who looked at him and said, "You have got to do more. You will never be happy trying to slow down your flow." And my friend followed his advice, took on more work and responsibilities and found himself feeling much better. (Also less time for "navel gazing" helped but that is another story.)

Now the other thing about this particular aspect of kayaking worth considering is that if we do get flipped, so long as we know how to roll back up and , if worse comes to worse, we know how to exit our boat when we need to, it is not some big tragedy if we get tipped over. Staying upright in the boat at all times is hardly the point of play boating. (remember: PLAY is the point of play boating.) So often it is easy to find myself getting stiff, sacred and freaked out in the river trying not to get flipped only to get flipped anyway (Partly because the fear rigidifies me and my boat and sets me up to flip over. See previous explanation and also review concept of "fear as a self-fulfilling prophecy.") So after I flip over I realize EVERY SINGLE TIME that I know how to roll back up and its no big deal. So all that rigid response is for something I am perfectly capable of handling anyway!

Now there is a life lesson. I mean seriously, life is gonna flip us over. We are going to make mistakes and we are certainly going to lose our breath at times. So why grip, why freak ourselves out and rigidify our responses to life and hold ourselves back so much in order to avoid the inevitable? (I do know why, but that is another post.) Now I am not a believer in just shoving ourselves madly into rapids either. Before we learn how to surf a rapid in kayaking we learn how to roll and we learn some paddle strokes and so forth. We definitely get ourselves trained, let's be clear. But in the end, nothing trains us for the rapid like being in the rapid and sometimes, we just get in there, get flipped upside down, tossed around and even beat up a bit and realize that we not only lived to tell the tale but we just might have learned something about how to do it better in the future.

So like that. Have a great day.

OH! AND-- Carlos Pomeda is going to be teaching a one-day meditation intensive in San Marcos on Sunday, August 1 called The Wonder of Meditation.

The schedule is as follows:

8:30-9:45 Group Asana Practice with Christina

10:00-1:00 Sesion with Carlos

1:00-2:00 Lunch- bring a vegetarian dish to share

2:00-5:00 Session with Carlos

Tuition: $100

To register go online to www.shop.christinasellyoga.com and sign up there. You can pay through paypal which makes it all very easy for me. Email christinasell108@gmail.com or call me (512-665-3743) if you have questions.

We will have the intensive at my studio space in San Marcos:

The San Marcos School of Yoga

400 Center Street

San Marcos, TX 78666

Wednesday morning

Well, it is Wednesday morning and I woke up early and since sleep seemed to be eluding me, I went ahead and got up, took a shower and did my morning practices. So now, here I am with my cup of tea (Ahh..organic keemun tea with manuka honey and cream. YUM. And of course my magic green poser, chia seeds and udo's oil to complete this stage of the morning nutrition intake.)

Monday afternoon I had the pleasure of attending Peggy Kelly's advanced Iyengar Yoga class which was a most excellent and creative journey to Natrajasana, once again proving the point that open groins=happy back bends. I have never done that much groin work to prepare for that pose but when we got to the pinnacle pose, I was super ready for it and it felt great. Plus what a delight after three straight weeks of long teaching days to be a student and receive instruction. I re-did the sequence in my own practice yesterday adding some poses that seemed to make sense and it was great.

Here is her sequence and my additions with an asterisk. She said hers was a combination of ideas of her own and Senior Iyengar teacher Kofi Busia's sequence to natrajasana.

• *Supta padangusthasana series with bottom leg weighted, foot on wall
• *AMV
• *AMS
• *uttanasana
• *prasarita padottanasana
• *Sirsasana
• Surya Namaskar- 10 X (Iyengar-style with jumping, not flowing)
• Rope 1 - 20X (Which I cannot do at home so I worked up dog/down dog on a chair- 20X)
• paryankasana over a block -5 minutes
• baddha konasana- hips elevated on block
• baddha konasana- hips on floor
• baddha konasana- feet elevated on block
• janu sirsasana variation with bent leg foot elevated on block

(Note- the whole emphasis here was on deepening the inner groins and "un -tucking the tailbone" and reaching the sitting bones back which in my world is called Inner Spiral! Oh and as a side note, guess what Martin told us in anatomy training- John told him not to call them sitz bones in the anatomy book and said to say "ischial tuberosity" or "sit bones" but not "sitz bones." Which I think is excellent because I have never said or liked the term "sitz bones" for the very reason John gave him- IT IS NOT A WORD! But I digress.)

• * eka pada supta virasana variations
• quad stretches in lunge with back shin on the wall, reaching arms up
• trikonasana-ardha chandrasana-vira 3-parivritta ardha chandrasana-vira 3-ardha chandrasana-trikonasana (All on one leg in a row. Yes, your front leg will feel like it is in a Baptiste class!)
• same standing pose sequence with ball of the foot on a slant board
• same standing pose sequence with heel of foot on slant board (if you do not have a slant board, use a blanket roll and yes, it will make the balance a lot harder/nearly impossible and yes your leg will feel like it is dying but this teaches you a lot about the front leg of natrajasana which I think was Kofi's point here.)
• ustrasana 2X
• urdhva danurasana 2x
• eka pada urdhva danurasana
• dwi pad viparita dandasana 2X
• *drop backs 5X
• natrajasana 3X
• uttanasana, hips back on wall
• parsva uttanasana, hips back on wall
• uttanasana
• ardha halasana with thighs on chair
• savasana

Yesterday I spent the whole morning catching up on email correspondences.I actually made it through most of them and then ate lunch with Kelly, and finsished some work on my computer before I started my asana practice. After that, Kelly and I got on our mountain bikes and took a ride on the greenbelt which was really fun. (I probably un-did all the great groin opening, but oh well, plenty of fun things in life make for tight muscles!) Then we made dinner and then I went over to Mom and Dad's house to watch Night two of a PBS special on Mormonism, which is one of my curiosities. Of course, I am more into the Fundamentalist sects where polygamy is still practiced and the women still wear prairie dresses and so forth and this was a more mainstream presentation of the faith but nonetheless, it was very interesting. (See, just another random glimpse into my inner life here in blog land. I mean who knew she was fascinated by religious cults of all kinds? Well, actually I am.)

All right, well, onward with the day now I suppose. I need to write a sequence and class plan for Focus On Form and the 6pm Level 2-4 class.

Have a great day!

Monday Morning

Well, a whole "day off" is stretching out in front of me and so that is kind of fun. The Immersion was really great yesterday. We began with a long pranayama, mantra and meditation practice and then did some technical discussion about the loops and spirals and the way they relate to one another and finished with an asana practice working a lot with skull and shoulder loop in cobra, ustrasana and heading toward pigeon droppings. (we are not quite there yet- we stopped with waving arms in ustrasana but that work paves the way to pigeon droppings.)

All right- after the Immersion, Kelly and I walked on the greenbelt, which was great because after being inside in a slightly warm room all day I definitely needed some fresh air. We came home and made dinner and I fell asleep early. All in all a good day although Kelly and I got in a talk about all the changes we have made since we left Arizona and I realized how many things I miss about being there. It is an interesting thing because I also love so many things about here. So it is one of those cases of "both", I think. Missing a place, missing my friends and endeavors there sits right along with the fact that I like what I am doing here. So there is, in the missing, no impetus to try to recreate what was, just an acknowledgement of a certain time -a lot of which I really loved- having passed and feeling the feeling associated with that.

One thing I really miss is having my own studio. I work for great studios here so I do not miss it because I am not involved in great things now. I am involved in really great things here. It is just something I really enjoyed that I am not doing now. Truly, I am gone way to much to run a studio as a sole proprietor in the way I did before- as we know, I can barely teach my 4 public classes a week as it is, much less 10-15 classes on a weekly schedule with advertising, marketing, cleaning, managing teachers and so forth- so it is not really a practical consideration either.

Anyway, those are today's musings from Christina Sell. I am looking forward to a nice long practice today and perhaps a walk before I do some work to get ready for my upcoming trip. I will be gone from January 21-31 on a personal retreat and so I have some things to get ready to go before I head out. I will be teaching my regularly scheduled classes at Castle Hill on Tuesday (4:30 Level 2-4) and Wednesday (9:30-11 Focus on Form and 6-7:30 level 2-4) so please come and join me this week or I won't see you till February which would be sad!

Have a great day.