I am writing in the car the way home from our month-long sojourn in Arizona. I am tired and more than a little inspired by all that transpired. (look at that--tired, inspired and transpired...3 words ending in -ired one after the other! But I digress. I must be tired- one sentence into my post and I am already digressing with parentheses. Oy vey. Wish me luck ya’ll. Or maybe I am just channeling my guru who wrote extra-long run-on sentences with lots of commas, comments and commentaries in parentheses when he wrote in his journal. Of course, if I was channeling him I wouldn’t be writing on a blog since he thought the internet was the antichrist and so he would never write a web log which is how I prefer to say it since I do not like to turn the word “blog” made into a verb, but now I am really digressing... can you say vata-deranged?)
The last time I went to Arizona was in October, when Darren and I resigned from Anusara mid-way through week number five of what began as a six-week Anusara Yoga training. When I left home for that trip, Kelly looked at me and said, “I have a feeling its going to be a big week for the two of you.” Well, as we all know by now, his comment proved to be a bit of an understatement, to say the least.
When we knew we would be resigning, Darren and I talked a lot about whether or not we should cancel the final week of training or bring in other Anusara teachers to teach the final week and finally we came to the conclusion that we would just forge ahead and teach whoever came back. We didn’t know what would happen, what exactly we would and could offer the group or even whether or not people would sign on for more training with us, without our certifications.
But here is the thing that Lee always said about serving a function in “the Work.” He said to really serve, we have to commit ourselves internally before we see external outcomes. (I am not talking here about blind leaps of faith or rash impulsivity. Generally, in cases such as I am speaking of, there are some signs and signals already pointing the way to go. The ideas is that if we commit to a course of action, follow through reliably and hold the space with the same degree of excellence, attention, and dedication for 1 person that we would for 100, then the Work serves us right back. It is not always going to serve us back by more giving us money or more fame or more outer validation, but make no mistake, he said, if we serve the Work, it will make sure that we are taken care of. So Darren and I followed through with that principle, stayed the course and committed to teaching the training to whoever came back.
And lo and behold, the students came back! An overwhelming majority of the group stayed the course for the training, committed to something that was only in seed form and in so doing, became the first graduating class of the School of Yoga. Being able to list these pioneers as our first graduating class fills me with pride and joy because they, individually and collectively, ushered me and Darren through a pretty amazing transformational process this year. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as we spent another week diving into our hearts, digging around and reclaiming the gold of who we are and who we can be when we are in such good company. A “certification” seems a small thing to offer back to a group of people who served me do deeply and yet, at the same time, I know its a big thing also. And after what we went through together, no way will I discount it or minimize it.
In some way, I suppose that was a bit of a personal theme for me in terms of really stepping into the fullness of my role without discounting it or minimizing it or indulging grandiosity, for that matter. I was personally in a bit of a spanda throughout the week with my own capacity to live in the wide-open vulnerability that such faith and trust inspires and requires of me as a teacher and a practitioner. When Darren and I left the ashram in October with the direction to formally forge a new teaching path, my mentor, Mary, looked me square in the eyes and said, “Get ready to upscale your practice. This will require more of you.” She is one of those intuitive people whose comments generally teeter on the edge of prophetic. Seems she, as usual, was on to something.
The cool thing is to really think about it all as a process of conception. Back in October, right when we resigned, an idea and a vision was conceived that has continued to take shape and grow inside both me and Darren and among the community of folks close to us. Since the “conception” in October there has been a lot of growth and development in the works personally and collectively. The school has a very real Heart beat, a most definitive backbone, a strong nervous system and it is already pulsing with vitality and possibility. I made a comment that last week’s training was kind of like a “baby shower” because I consulted my Vedic astrologer for an auspicious official birthday for School of Yoga. She recommended a date to me and I am proud to announce that the School of Yoga will be born officially on January 3, 2012 in Austin, TX. (We will be coordinating celebrations across the world at that time so stay tuned for how to join in and wish us well.)
I say all of this simply to say that the week in Tucson was radical. As always.