Tuesday Morning

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Yesterday I managed to sleep in really late and spend the morning catching up on work and then doing some asana before I headed out to Lululemon to plan the final details for Salutation Nation this Saturday. It is going to be a great event and I am really excited to be teaching this complimentary, outdoor class. The class will start promptly at 9:00 am at Festival Beach (on the East side of 35 and don't worry, there is LOTS of parking!) and after class we will have food, prizes and a chance to hang out and enjoy begin together.

I think that is the thing I am most excited about about the event. We are hoping to gather several hundred Austin yogi's of all ages and abilities together to enjoy an asana practice, to enjoy the great outdoors and to enjoy being together as a unified community. Equally cool is that almost every Lululemon store across the nation is organizing a group of people to practice together at 9am in their time zone for the same reason! So while we are here in Austin as a community, we will be joining together with a much larger community of people. I think that's a pretty exciting opportunity. I do hope you join the fun.

For more information on the event, Lululemon 6th and Lamar has a Facebook page which is a great resource for the event (as well as other fun things going on with them.) Obviously, we all like their clothes but these kinds of grassroots community events are, in my opinion, what make this company really great. (Okay, that and the universally flattering Groove Pant which makes everybody's butt look good. Seriously. But I digress...) Think back to Zoe and Matt's doing Yoga under the stars and Gioconda's great One Om Event? All made possible with Lululemon's help.

All right, after the planning and the shopping, Kelly and I spent some time together doing email, etc. and then went out to dinner. All in all a very lovely day. My cold is steadily improving and I feel fine however, now Kelly has a sore throat. Oh well.

Today I have a good mix planned of work and play- I have a lot of planning to do for the weekend, I have some bodywork scheduled and a date to go to the pool with Gia (of course, her right arm is in a cast so it will be me swimming and her dangling her feet in the water from the side) and I have a chunk of time set aside for asana which I am excited about.

Speaking of setting aside time for asana- This month Mandy Eubanks is teaching a Group Practice at the Amala Sanctuary on August 12th and 26th from 4:30-6:30. That will be a lot of fun so come if you can.

Also- please help me spread the word- Starting in September I am going to be teaching a 50-minute Anusara Yoga for Seniors class at Castle Hill Fitness Center on Wednesdays at 11:00. I will teach Focus on Form from 9:30-10:55 and then Seniors Yoga at 11:00. It is going to be a $7 community class and you do not need to be a member to come. Please spread the word to anyone you know who might enjoy a basic, gentle yoga class geared toward Seniors. We will work on strength building, balance, flexibility and relaxation. Certified Iyengar teacher (and my sis) Anne Bowery will teach on the weeks I am out of town.

More tomorrow.

Monday Morning

It's been kind of a whirlwind these last few days. Sometime on Thursday evening I started getting a sore throat and by Friday evening I felt officially sick so I skipped pranayama class Friday afternoon and went to sleep instead. We left Montana bright and early on Saturday morning and I got home right around 3 in the afternoon. Kelly gave me acupuncture, I unpacked and then we went to bed.

We got up early in the morning yesterday to head down to San Marcos for the day-long meditation intensive with Carlos Pomeda. I am a huge fan of Carlos and his teaching. He is totally clear, precise, compassionate and exacting. His commitment to the accuracy of the tradition, his dedication to practice and his humble, sincere manner is so inspiring to me. He is such an amazing example of the power of the practice and what it can yield in us over a lifetime.

He spent the day talking about fundamentals of meditation and gave us an very broad theoretical understanding of meditation as it has developed throughout the history of yoga and we had an opportunity to practice several different methods of meditation, which was really interesting. I enjoyed the day immensely and I got a lot out of his teachings, people's questions and sharing and the practices we explored. Equally delightful for me was the simple joy of just being with everybody for the dayoff . We started with a asana practice, had a morning session with Carlos, a potluck lunch and then an afternoon session. It was a mellow yet inspiring day.

One other thing of note about Carlos is he has an excellent capacity to meet people where they are and as the day progressed what was so cool was to watch the group drop pretense and posture and just ask sincere, heartfelt, and Real questions about their sadhana. I think Carlos is so unpretentious and so authentic himself that just being around him invites people to be that way themselves. I always feel a deep level of psychic relaxation around him because of this quality he has. And what was really cool was that when I sat this morning for meditation, I felt more focused and clear about what I was doing and about how to respond (or not respond) to what was arising.

There are lots of juicy nuggets from the day that I will be chewing on for a while. There was just so much packed in there on so many levels that the "unpacking" process will take some time. Here are a few gems:

• If you find yourself falling asleep in meditation, then get more sleep! However, there is a stage of consciousness that we go through on the way to samadhi that is very much like sleep but is not exactly sleep but we probably lack the capacity/vocabulary to describe it any other way. "To get to samadhi, you have to go through sleep"- Swami Muktananda
• Meditation is the practice of developing Self-awareness. It is not about the mind. If all of your attention is being directed at your mind, you will have none left for your awareness.
• Anything you do bears fruit, but remember there are different kinds of fruit.
• You do not have to give up your individuality. You have to give up your limited notion that that is all that you are.
• And how will you know you are more than your limited individuality if you never let go of it for a while?
• Playfulness is only one option in Tantra. Tantra is also very serious business. For tantra, both the light and the dark are Real. To represent only play is limiting. And to highlight play doesn't equip us to handle difficulty. The equanimity we seek in tantra, exists from what lies beyond light and dark, playfulness and seriousness.
• "taking a playful attitude" is not relevant to certain parts of our sadhana.
• As yogis, we are not after the mind. We are after the Self.
• You can be very deep in meditation and still the mind can be active. It is like being deep under water and knowing there are waves crashing at the surface.
• consciousness has to have a focal point, even if it is Itself.
• The emphasis is not on what you are witnessing but on The Witness.
• Non Duality does not ignore duality. No one can ignore duality or they do not know what they are talking about. (I wanted to tweet that one!)
• We have to start where we are at.
• In mantra meditation, we are working with sound not meaning. "It seems stupid from a logical, conventional viewpoint. But what is stupid from a yogic viewpoint is to remain restricted to meaning. We must escape the tyranny of meaning."
• If you follow sound, it will take you to silence.
• The Life Force knows how to heal. Given the right conditions, prana will heal.
• What makes meditation what it is is that it is a guided process, as opposed to a quite time with yourself or a period of relaxation.
• the place where you find resistance is the place of the greatest breakthrough.
• YOU GET NO EXTRA POINTS FOR SUFFERING.
• Samskaras live in the body. After all, they have no where else to live
• Meditation because it is there to be done and it is a good idea. Meditate because you are an evolving being and it is your practice. If you meditation to "feel good" or to "get high" then that reason will not sustain you through difficulty.
• Meditation is really quite simple. It is really just consciousness doing its thing which is Awareness. (I think I will tweet that one!)

All right, more soon.

Thursday After Lunch

So, I am sitting outside after a lovely lunch and feeling just about every muscle in my body a bit sore. Patricia Walden taught a great back bend class today with lots of work in the chairs and lots of repetition in the poses . We did tons of chair back bends, lots of urdhva danurasana, a lot of dwi pada viparita dandasana, eka pada viparita dandasana, and finished the morning with a rousing foray into kapotasana. I got my heels several times with help which was great and she gave me some lovely tips on how to work on it so that was fun. And now, I am pretty darn tired.

I don't have much to write about. I am enjoying the time here on retreat to just be a little unplugged and little introspective. One thing I find so impressive and inspiring about both Patricia and John is the quality of presence they both bring to their teaching. I think they are both incredible examples of what a lifetime of dedicated practice yields in a person. They are compassionate, funny, disciplined, clear, generous and also very centered in themselves. I find it very inspiring and I feel very grateful to be on the receiving end of their very gracious teaching.

So, I keep wanting to write something about how that personal presence is the real reason to yoga, not the poses, but every time I start to type that, something stops me. Here is the the thing that keep occurring to me-- the path of the poses has been their path and still is. Every day, while one of them is teaching the large group, the other one is in the back doing their personal practice and, let's be clear-- they are very impressive practitioners. They are pursuing and practicing with great result, very difficult postures. So it seems to me somewhat impossible to separate out the poses from the effect of the poses, the approach from the outcome, the Light in their eyes from the clarity and excellence of their postures. Its merged. Its just so obvious that one feeds the other.

So, I find their commitment to practice so compelling and taking the time to receive their teaching and the accumulated wisdom of their journey is quite a treat.

more soon.

Tuesday Afternoon

Well, it's a rainy day here in Montana where I am attending a week-long yoga retreat with Senior Iyengar Yoga teachers Patricia Walden and John Schumaker. I came to this retreat two years ago and it is really great to be back. Anne, my sister, is a certified Iyengar teacher who more than occasionally visits Ansuara yoga Land and so it is fun to be visiting Iyengar Yoga Land with her and Jeff and also my friend Rachel Peters from Prescott, Arizona. All in all its been a great week so far.

We had a very epic time getting here on Saturday. We ended up with a 7-hour layover in Denver due to flight crew delays and weather and so forth and got to Helena at midnight instead of 1:30 which was our original plan. But we made it and other than being a little road weary, no harm was really done. Travelling is always such a lesson in acceptance for me. Rarely does losing one's temper or giving into frustration ever help the situation. So much in the course of travel is really out of my hands. Almost everything except my attitude, that is!

The retreat-ants are divided into two groups- a beginning group and an intermediate advanced group. John teaches the beginners one day and Patrica teaches the int/adv. group and then they switch the following day and alternate, etc. It is great to get exposure to two different teachers that way. We had class with Patricia that morning for a lot of padmasana work andpadmasanain inversion work which was awesome after travel. Then we had John yesterday who taught a rousing and dynamic back bend practice. We got to drop backs and once everyone who needed help got help he had those of us who could do it on our own work alone. After we had worked a while, he said, "Okay, did everyone do their 108?" He walked by me and I said, "Well I got to 40... He said okay, get to 54 and then stop for the day." (the rest of the group was in down dog at this point.) And he coached me through some very useful refinements and suggestions for practicing them in a new way. So that was fun.

Today Patrica taught a 4-hour twist class which was super intense and deep. Lots of good insights from that. You know, I am pretty good at making myself work on things in my practice and really going for something without a teacher guiding me, but I would never have repeated those twists that much in my own practice. She really held the space for us in a profound way. So that is kind of thought provoking in terms of knowing now what I need to ask of myself in practice and being reminded that as a teacher, we need to hold a space for people to work beyond their comfort zone without apologizing for it.

As always I am delighting in the seat of the student and getting a lot of good help with my practice. Both John and Patricia have near x-ray vision with their observation skills and they show their love with lots of adjustments and refinements. Good times for sure.

A few commercials and announcements- Remember the Wonder of Meditation with Carlos Pomeda is August 1 in San Marcos. For more information about that, please email me and I can send you a flyer. Oh, actually, there is a pdf posted on my website. If you have wanted to meditate but was unsure about how to get started or if you have a practice and want to get some additional guidance, this is for you. Carlos will talks some about the different approaches to meditation throughout yoga history and focus mostly on tantric meditation. So, its a chance to learn some more philosophy and apply it directly to the practice of meditation.

Also, a reminder that Salutation Nation is coming up! August 7th at 9:00 on Festival Beach we are gathering as a city-wide yoga community to practice asana outside. I am leading the all-levels class- think fun flows, good music, great people and lots of good snacks and party favors to enjoy!

All right, then, time to take a hike through the woods. I think there is a small break in the rain.

Guru Purnima

Well "my two cents" morphed into a great chunk of change by the end of the day. I want to thank everyone for participating in such a rich and meaningful discussion- from the comments on the blog to the comments on Facebook and so forth. I even some pretty thought- provoking personal emails that people sent in response to my entry. I know it takes a lot of time to sit down a craft a letter or even a concise paragraph and so I really do want to thank everyone for joining in the conversation and adding so much texture to the fabric of this particular issue.

I got one email from someone encouraging me to "chill out" which was kind of funny because as passionate as I am on the topic of this method, my teacher , the integrity and intelligence of my colleagues and the dedication and sincerity of my students, I am not in anyway confused or personally troubled by the article. I have been around a while, right? I am a pretty perceptive person, right? And better yet, John is pretty much a guy whose sins are on the surface. That is a phrase that GI Gurdjeiff used to describe himself. (He was a pretty radical mystical teacher who founded the school of spiritual work called The Fourth Way. A few Google searches and you ought to be able to find out more about this amazing darsana pretty easily, if you chose.) But anyway, Gurdjeiff was making the point that if you are who you are-especially as a spiritually teacher- then its not some big shock when people learn about your faults.

So I have known John for over a decade and I have had the fortune to be with him in personal settings and in large group settings and one-on-one driving down the highway and sitting at meals with Great Masters and on the phone about business and discussing various heart-breaks and disappointments and I have seen him teaching 800 people in one room and I gotta tell you- it's always the same John. He is who he is.

And really, that has always been his message to each of us: Be who you are. A long time ago he told me it was the foundation of his teaching style. He said, "If everyone thinks they have to impress me in order to win my approval I am going to spend years getting through all that crap before I can actually teach them yoga. So I figure, why not just accept people as they are, give them the love and approval they want (consciously or unconsciously) and not make them "earn it" and we can get down to business a whole lot sooner."

So-- my point is that after over a decade, being a perceptive person AND being in the company of someone who is pretty transparent, well, nothing in the article shocked or upset me in a personal way- I mean all that the reporter said is there to be seen, right? And I am not blinded by my passion and love in such a way I can't see how someone might see things the way this reporter did, etc. John invited this person (an outsider) into the inner world and workings of Anusara Yoga and she wrote a sensationalist article. Big shock. I get it. I am not confused about how such a thing happens. I am, if anything, a realist. So I certainly do not need help with perspective on such matters. I am fully aware that people surround John and have a "Cult of John" for varying degrees of time until they realize what he is really up to is helping them love themselves, and it's not about him but about who we are together and how we might make each other great. All that's just part of the process. I am a teacher, too- I know how it works. And I am fully aware that Anusara Yoga has a marketing plan and thank god they do as my livelihood is hooked into that stream! No issue there.

So really my concern and passion isn't very personal in a sense. I was doing Anusara Yoga long before it was popular and I am going to be doing it whether or not it keeps growing and whether or not I am able to keep making a living at it. So I am solid. Partly, I am solid in my stance because I have watched with great clarity over the years what is positive and negative and so very little shocks or concerns me. And my relationship to the method has grown way beyond a fascination with the outside manifestation of our growth. Frankly, I am just so busy pouring myself into my practice, into my work and into the Teachings that have meaning for me (and not all of them turn me on or make my heart sing or anything wide-eyed like that) that I have little energy left to worry much about the rest of it.

But see, I am blessed to be on a team of people John has trusted with shaping the future of our method by creating standardized curriculum. I am fortunate to serve on several other leadership committees within our organization. And I consider it my great good luck that I was around in the early days of our method when we thought 40 people in a room with John was crowded. So for me, telling these stories is important as a way I can pay back what he so freely gave and gives me. I know today that people practice this method who have no direct personal connection to John and no direct knowledge of his commitment and sacrifices. Part of my purpose in writing yesterday was to help people who see him now as a "yoga rockstar" or "marketing genius" see that phenomenon in the light of a much larger sadhana and in the light of a long-standing and long- enduring commitment to Serve that had very humble roots.

Those roots are part of our method-- to me, much more than the world-wide growth we are experiencing now. And it seems appropriate to speak to some of that so that what we are today is placed in context. (Back to my love of context!) It's true, yoga has the ability now- like at no other point in its history- to elevate people to positions of fame and influence and so sure, ambition lurks around in yoga shalas in ways in didn't used to. Years ago it was some thin hippie lady with long braids and no make-up teaching yoga in the basement of a community center or a church a few nights a week and yoga was seen as more-than-a-bit-weird. Now, yoga studios abound on every corner and yoga teachers have tours and blah, blah, blah... I do not have to tell you all about that-- just open up the Yoga Journal and its self-evident.

But really, when we all begun with John, we had all been practicing for a while. Most of the people around then had come from Iyengar Yoga or from Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga and it was a very dedicated crowd. We were super-intense and John asked for a lot from us. And we loved it. If we saw him in June and he told us to work on getting more strength in our legs, for instance, when we saw him in August, he was like, "Hey, I told you to work on that!" or he would be like, "Great job, now get your thighs back for real this time." And there was love and there was laughter but I have to tell you we worked our asses off around him because he had so much intensity and we were being pulled in his wake. It was a very high time, but it was no party!

I told him at the first of the year that, in my opinion, our community grew from the love of the practice. We were joined through our zeal and passion to grow, change and serve. We were so into it and all the while John was training us to love ourselves and each other better and after many years, this massive community had formed. Such a massive community had formed, in fact, that even people not-so-intense could now find a way to experience the magic of the method. And fast forward today to Anusara Yoga on the world-wide stage and plenty of people only know John in the role he is playing now and think that the growth was planned in some strategic way. (And sure, yes, I am aware there was some planning along the way but having been in those planning sessions myself, honestly more often than not, they are trying to keep up with growth, not trying to make it happen!)

So I write all this on the full moon of July which in the Hindu tradition is when the teacher is celebrated in what they call Guru Purnima. I am not writing so much for me, Christina Sell, but simply to honor my yoga teacher, John Friend, and to tell a story (of sorts) about how- in part- we got to where we are now. One of the very thoughtful letters I got encouraged me to tell more of these kind of stories because she felt that they were important for people new to the method to hear.

And really, again and always, this method is in our hands in a lot of ways. I think each one of us is its integrity. I think that each one of us is its majesty. And in my heart I know that each one of us is its future. The stories we tell today about yesterday will shape our present. Today's stories will become the story for future generations and the Power of the Word to give birth to reality will continue on. And so I think its worth considering, what story are we telling?

My Two Cents on The Yoga Mogul and His Method

Best to read the article above before reading my entry:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/25/magazine/25Yoga-t.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1

Well, I suppose I might as well jump into the conversation about the New York Times Magazine article. This 5-page spread, from what I have been told, is the largest article on yoga ever printed in their magazine. So that is cool. And really, being featured in The New York Times is a pretty prestigious situation in which to find oneself as a person and as a method. So that, too is cool.

But there are, in my opinion, some un-cool things about the article. I am really not a person who likes to go point by point through such a thing to set right to wrong and to delineate fact from fiction. Although I must say, in this case, there are a fair amount of inaccuracies listed like:

• hotel room keys being pressed into John's hand (which I have NEVER seen happen or heard of happening),
• there being a cult of John (which there isn't since he is the biggest advocate of community over individuals that I know),
• John being secretive about his personal history (which he isn't. He is open about that-- its just not usually very relevant to 300 people in a room learning to teach yoga),
• John being easily distracted (he isn't- I have been in the back corner of room before while he is helping someone in the front row and he has given a personal adjustment to me),
• how John has his teachers proselytize and so forth (he doesn't) and
• that money drives his decisions. (which it doesn't--So much of the business has grown as a result of outreach and service, not profit.)

I could go on. I mean seriously, there are a fair amount of things that are worth exposing point by point in the article. But I am more of a context person when you get right down to it. I am more of person who cringes-- not at individual points-- but at the mood of something when that is off. See, I figure if the general mood of something is accurate, then the details are less important and more likely to be understood within the larger context. So, in general, I am more interested in context than content.

And that is what rubs me the wrong way about the article- the context of it isn't right. Well, let me at least own that statement a bit more personally than that. The context of that article doesn't match my personal experience of John or the method or the wonderful people I call my colleagues, students and friends. See, the thing for me, when I remember back to the early days of Anusara Yoga and what hooked me so deeply, was a very simple thing--John cared about me and I could tell he cared about his students. And no matter how big the organization has gotten, no matter how many countries we now have certified teachers in, no matter how many ancillary businesses have sprung up around John and the method, no matter what kind of car John drives or what kind of artistic expression he is into, that has remained the same in my experience. And no one, no matter how crafty, slick or hip their position or writing style is, no one will convince me that his care was (or is) part of some marketing plan for creating a yoga empire.

I remember one year after I had first met John he and I were talking about all the changes I had experienced over the previous year. He looked at me- I remember it like it was yesterday- he had been teaching all day and he was putting his mala on after he had changed clothes- and he said to me with very deep sincerity, "I am going to support you. I am going to help you in your practice, I am going to help you be a great teacher and I will always be here for you." You know the thing is, he kept that promise to me. He returned his end of the bargain a hundred fold in my book.

Have I had issues along the way? Sure. Do I think John Friend is perfect person? No way. Who is? Do I think the growth of our method has been challenging for our community at times? Absolutely. Do I think at any point in over 10 years since I have known him that he has ever wavered in that promise he made to me? Nope. Never. Ever. Not once. He has unfailingly supported me and helped me with things from big life issues to the technical details of hand placement in a pose to dealing with difficult students to refining my speech to rehabbing more than one injury. Again, no one will ever convince that was calculated in anyway.

And the thing is, I know I am not the only one he made (and kept) such a promise with.

You know, at the risk of sounded like I am drinking the kool-aid or like I am some kind of reformed "true believer", I must say that the majesty of the method just can't be understood from outside. From the outside, all that many people will let themselves see are the reasons that give them an excuse to doubt. I mean sure, John is not a conventional yoga teacher and he has a very "rock-star" kind of life, in a way. It doesn't take a genius to see that. But anybody who has ever been on the road with him knows its not exactly very glamorous. He is constantly changing time zones, keeping odd hours, teaching long days, answering his email and taking phone calls from his students at the end of a day when he might rather be doing something else. Why anyone who begrudge him financial compensation for the kind of work he does is really beyond me. But I digress.

So from the outside you will see the ways the method is pushing certain boundaries of expectations, of long-cherished biases of "what yoga is" and so forth and you can find reasons galore to discount it. Fine- a bunch of people in tie-dyed pants who say the word shakti a lot can seem a bit weird to the outsider. I get that... I really do. But those of us who have stepped into the current of the method and its teachings have found something quite extraordinary in doing so. We found inspiration, we found support, we found ways to bring these exquisite teachings to life and to practice them and to, in sometimes small and large ways, embody them. (And that someone who heard John give teachings about philosophy without "any real way to practice them" missed the entire context that he gave them in- a yoga class- was how you practice them is kind of ironic. I mean, we practice the teachings of spanda for instance EVERY time we enegage muscle energy and organic energy. We practice the teachings of trusting in the Source, every time we root our foundation or draw to the midline or move into the back body and so on. Our practice, at its highest, embodies the teachings. But I digress into content once again.)

See, I am passionate about this because I think we live in a time of darkness and doubt. I think it has become too easy to doubt and too easy to assume the worst and we are lauded in society for being distant, discerning, critical and so forth. And sure, things can go wrong in all kinds of ways but I think believing in something and trusting in something is a daring act and one that can engage our deepest self for our highest healing. How different that article might have read had the author interviewed those of us who have been changed directly from involvement with Anusara Yoga. How might the content of how its growing have faded within the context that radical shifts occur everyday because we are helping each other line up with Grace.

That's it. That's the thing. It works. And not only is Anusara Yoga bigger than John Friend but it is most certainly bigger than life on the road with John Friend. John has always said that Anusara Yoga is primarily about what each one of us is doing in our local communities and his work on the road is to travel and support our local work. When our local work is strong, when we are doing our best to grow together, to work together, to honestly confront our darkness together and to affirm our Light together we are in the current of Anusara. The outer forms are going to change. Count on it. This is a moving stream. But the essence is and always has been caring for ourselves and each other as the highest expression of Grace that there is.

Like that.

Tuesday Morning

Well, let's see what to write about today. One thing I am pondering lately is the learning process. In part this inquiry got stirred up because I got an email from a student in Los Angeles signing up from my online mentor group. She was excited about the opportunity to learn more and to go deeper into her studies and then at the end of our exchange she posed an interesting question. She asked me if one ever stops chasing after knowledge. If one ever just settles into what they know and feels confident and satisfied with that.

So I have been thinking about it and of course, like everything I think about for a while, it seems to me there are many sides to the consideration and a whole lot of yes and no and it depends involved. Also her heart felt question had me reflecting on my own journey in Anusara Yoga. In the beginning of learning this method I think the learning curve is very steep. It is fast and furious and every workshop and every class yields some great ah-hah, some great insight or some new way of working more effectively. My experience is that after a while that rate of learning slows a bit- we start to grasp the philosophical precepts, we start to understand and feel the UPA's and we glimpse the logic of our sequencing strategies and so forth. So, while we still (hopefully) have ah-hah moments and so forth, the reality is what we have in front of us to do at that point is practice. We are charges with the task of bringing to life what we know, day after day, class after class, practice after class. This can actually be boring to some and even frustrating at time when the answer, for instance, is NOT something new but is the continual task of actually getting our thighbones back!

So in this way, I do think the chase ends. Or at least it slows down. So yes, we eventually stop chasing.

And yet, my experience has also been that I am always learning and I have ceased to be bored with the acquisition of knowledge. I find the process of learning to be one of the best things in life. And, I am happiest as a student of a great teacher. And while every situation can teach us and we can learn from everybody and all of that, in truth, that perspective is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the sheer delight in my Heart of Hearts, the rightness I feel inside when I am sitting at the feet of someone who is truly great, someone who is a master at what they do. I love nothing more, than being around someone who knows so much more than I do that I am happy to just hang out in case their cup runneth over in my direction and I can drink just a little bit from their wellspring. I have to say, in those times, I am in my deepest flow. Nothing beats it for me. Not teaching, not practicing, not reading about it, no movie, no hot-fudge sundae, no fine wine. Nothing compares. So in this way, no, it never ends. Why would I want it to?

Also as I have chewed on this question a lot I also though about the context of what it means to chase after knowledge. And I think a relevant aspect to explore is what is motivating the chase. Is there some seed of emptiness in our psychology that consciously or unconsciously believes that "more knowledge" will fill us u? Like are we in the grip of anava mala with feelings of lack and self-hatred and think that if just "knew more" then we would prove ourselves worthy? Or is the chase motivated by a burning zeal to expand out Light inside and to serve from a deeper place of wisdom?

There are variations on the theme of those questions for sure but the real thing to ask ourselves is: are we chasing knowledge from emptiness trying to get full or are we chasing knowledge from fullness in attempt to glorify and expand what is already great within us? There is no right answer to the question but the truth of that answer determines the answer to our opening question, right? And there are shades of gray here also.

If we are chasing knowledge from emptiness then we have to know that the cure for that kind of emptiness is never "knowing more stuff." But how do we learn that? Many times we pursue the outside answers long enough to realize they don't fill the emptiness. Then we look inside. Depending on our type, temperament and so forth we might never actually get off the outside search and actually get to the real inner work of sorting through the true reasons why we feel unworthy, separate or alone inside. It is hard work to do- it is much easier to think organic food, acupuncture, drugs, a better diet, the perfect herbal supplement, a different asana method, a new partner, a better job, a fancier car, cuter clothes, bigger boobs, thinner thighs, some advanced posture, fame, fortune, babies, etc. will do it this time. Seriously, all the different approaches out there to "fix it" can and do consume a lifetime.

I am not of the belief that "everyone is eventually going to turn inward and find themselves." Not by a long shot do I believe that. I think it is rare that anyone would engage the painstaking process of really getting to know themselves and rooting this stuff out. And I think those of us in the process should remember that it is a rare thing to do in this life and no matter how ugly it gets in the inner world at times, no matter how scary and dark it may feel as one approaches the inner regions of their shame-based beliefs, there is Dignity in the work, there is Necessity and there is intrinsic value.

So, if the outer journey fails us and we turn inward and we find, even glimpses, of our Great Light inside, then I think that the process heals us. The sense of emptiness is alleviated. And I think, in that way, the chase ends. When the chase from emptiness ends, well, we can, from our Fullness, listen to ourselves to hear how best to continue to walk the path. I know for me, the desire to learn and grow has not ceased. And its lands pretty squarely in the world of yoga for me. And I am happy to chasing it, in a sense. (Although I wouldn't actually use that word.)

But seriously, I know a lot of people who were chasing the yoga path and what they realized, as yoga helped them listen to themselves, was that yoga wasn't actually "it" for them. Parenting was. Environmental Action was. Writing was. Dancing was. Gardening was. Asana fell to the wayside for a meditation practice. And so on. And so the chase from fullness didn't take them in the same direction, it led them down different roads and into other experiences of learning and growing. I am not of the belief that everyone should do yoga and everyone should teach yoga or anything like that, for instance.

So there are many more facets to the question and to the answers but that's what's on my mind at the moment. I know in my case that I am an experiential learner. I tend to plow directly into experiences, totally go for them, spend a ton of money on them and sort all the other stuff out as I go along. It is not always a pretty path but generally when I am done with something I am done. I knew it. I learned it from the inside out. And if I stick with something, same thing. I am not casual about it. I believe we have to take things to their natural conclusions in order to complete the experience. I do know, however, that as I have grown older and wiser the natural conclusion is often less extreme than it was in my youth. I seem to complete things without as many dire consequences!

But you know, come to think of it, I have yet to find the conclusion of this particular path called yoga so I am still very interested in it and happily chasing after great teachers and great teachings. And as far as throwing all our money at our yoga studies, well, there are worse things that that, if you ask me! Its pretty much where all my money goes. (And to Lululemon clothes.)

So speaking of more ways to spend your money and more knowledge and experiences to chase after, I got a note in my email yesterday from Rachel at Yoga Oasis telling me that there is still some room in the upcoming Teacher Training that Darren and I are offering. This is Part One of a 3-part training program and even if you have done Level 1 Teacher Training before, I think that this program will be full of fresh perspectives, new approaches and effective techniques to grow and expand as a teacher. If you want some information about it, please email me directly at christinasell108@gmail.com or call Rachel at Yoga Oasis at 520.322.6142.

Have a great day.